Strong Leaders Serve with Teri Schmidt

Leading Your Team to be a Force for Good

August 07, 2024 • Teri Schmidt

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Something a little different this week:  We're sharing an episode of the Thrive in the Workplace and Become a Force for Good podcast in which Teri has a rich conversation with Charlotte Stebbing-Mills that includes:

  • How Teri's childhood led her to believe in the power of leadership coaching
  • How leaders can develop the collaboration skills of their teams while doing good for the greater community
  • What makes the transition into people leadership so difficult and what to do
  • How to engage all generations in the workforce
  • Why strong leaders should serve and how that differs from rescuing and being nice all of the time

Resources:





Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/teri-m-schmidt/

Get 1-on-1 leadership support from Teri here: https://www.strongertoserve.com/coaching

Set up an intro call with Teri: https://calendly.com/terischmidt/discoverycall

Welcome back. It's Terry here, and we're doing something a little bit different. this week. I wanted to share with you a conversation that I had with Charlotte stubbing mills of the wellness theory on her, thrive in the workplace and become a force for good podcast. I wanted to share it for a few reasons first. For those of you who. Haven't had an opportunity to really get to know me. Well, this kind of goes into my origin story of how I got to be in the place. I am partnering with leaders to help them capitalize on their strengths. And accelerate their impact. And it also talks a little bit about something that is really relevant for this time of year. And that is the team building experiences that we offer. And the reason I say it's relevant for this time of the year is believe it or not, people are already planning end of the year team activities. And if you haven't heard about our team activities, they are way more than a one and done go have fun experience that. Basically doesn't do anything for how you collaborate when you get back to your real work. These experiences, combine learning. With community impact and you are going to be engaged in activities that are not only good for the community. But you're also going to be using those activities to practice skills that you as a team will learn so that you can collaborate better when you get back on the job. I talked through a few examples in the episode, but think of skills that are so important, such as giving and receiving difficult feedback. That's one of the skills that we target in our learn by doing good team building experiences. So I thought it was a great time to bring forth this episode. And if you're interested in reserving your slot for your team now, before they all book up. Just click on the link in the show notes. And that will take you through the simple steps to get your time and your experience reserved. You'll also hear About the leadership philosophy that drives. The work at strong leaders serve. As well as. What it. means to be a strong leader who serves. Instead of a strong leader who rescues. So I hope you enjoy the episode. And if you want to hear more of Charlotte, which you definitely should. Be sure to check out her podcast as well as. The episode that I did with her and her partner, Jonathan. Over a hundred episodes. It was episode 58 and it was all about how to let go of unhealthy stress and become a force for good. So be sure to check that out. We'll be back in a couple of weeks with another excellent guest. Until then, have a great couple of weeks. We're actually going to be driving our oldest to college for the first time. So it will definitely be an emotional time for all of us. But I hope that you have a wonderful end to your summer. And look forward to talking with you in a couple of weeks.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

Thank you everyone for tuning in to today's episode. Today we are joined by Terry Schmidt, who seamlessly integrates team building, leadership development, and community service. Her workshops and leadership coaching cultivate empowered individuals, high performing teams, and impactful contributions to society. Now, Terry also hosts the Strong Leaders Serve podcast. It inspires leaders to make their workplaces, More compassionate and just through their leadership without burning out. Not only that, she practices what she preaches as she gives back to the community in so many ways, while still having time and energy to be an Ironman triathlete and being outdoors, spending quality time with her husband and two teenage kids. Thank you so much for being here, Terry.

Teri Schmidt:

Well, thank you, Charlotte. I'm excited to be here and looking forward to our conversation.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

Me too. So for our listeners, they wouldn't know this, but our paths actually crossed a few years ago. And it was when I first learned about your nonprofit, Stronger to Serve, which encourages people to be physically active and volunteer at the same time. I think I found it on like Instagram or something actually. I was like, what is happening here? I love this. This was like, speaking my language. So your intention for doing that, I believe, was to help them realize their own value at the same time as making your community even stronger. And obviously they're getting healthy and fit in the process as well.

Teri Schmidt:

Exactly.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

Perfect. So this was super inspiring to me. Right. And then I obviously then dug a bit deeper into your work, and I can see we're super aligned with the, with the vision and the mission that we're on to essentially be healthy and well and be a force for good. So I would

Teri Schmidt:

like

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

you, Terry, to share a little bit more about your journey and what's inspired you to do what you do today.

Teri Schmidt:

Yeah, definitely. I'd be happy to. So there are really 2 factors that kind of started pretty early in my life that have driven everything I've done since that point. And 1 of those factors is that, you know, I just really very early in life became very interested and adapt it, understanding why. People acted the way they acted. And then the other thing is, you know, based on my faith and really watching my mom as an elementary school teacher, I saw and was intrigued and inspired by how people, different people were good at doing different things. And in other words, you know, they had these unique and. That they could give to the world that they may not even be aware of. So was the type of teacher that, you know, you know, how teachers sometimes the grade level before will say, Oh, watch out for this kid. You know, he's, he's gonna be, he's gonna be a troublemaker. He's probably not going to amount to anything. Those would be the students that my mom would kind of seek out and by the end of the year, you know, have them thriving and just, you know, really good students happy and what they were doing. So I saw that and I was like, there's something there. So those two factors have kind of driven, driven me into the field of, you know, how can we develop humans? So I've taken kind of a windy path and I'll get to the nonprofit in a minute, but. Okay. You know, whether I was at when I was a high school math teacher, or when I was living in a homeless shelter as the live in volunteer coordinator to leading my own profit to what I'm doing now as a leadership coach and team building facilitator. It's always been about helping people to discover their unique talents and use my talents to make a way for them to use theirs. So. That's really what I am doing now. With stronger serve coaching and team building, which is different from the nonprofit. I kept kept the name because I love the name. Again, what I'm doing now is we spend so much of our time at work. I want to support leaders to make that a place where. Not only they can thrive, but they can also support their team members to thrive. And so that's what I focus on in my work. But before that, like you said, when our costs when our paths crossed, I was leading the nonprofit stronger to serve. And that really came about My journey to become an Ironman triathlete. I was inspired by my husband who had done it a few years, few years prior. And I saw his commitment and getting to that finish line. And I was like, you know, I never really have stuck with anything in my life like that. I wanted to make a commitment and stick with it. And, but I was a little bit unsure about it because we had two young children at that point. And I saw the time commitment that went into it. And Again, I'm a person of faith, and I kind of feel like I had God talking to me and saying, make it about more than just yourself. And that's when stronger to serve was really born as a family project. And we took the time that we were preparing for the iron man. My husband signed up again to do it with me. We took that time to really grow as a family in terms of our well being so our kids would get involved with us on our, you know, they'd be riding their bikes while we were running and, you know, bringing us music and water and everything we needed. And then we also committed to volunteer as a family during that time. So kind of becoming our best people and that evolved into the nonprofit, which we unfortunately last December actually ended operations, but I've taken a thread of that into what I'm doing now with the coaching and team building.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

That's amazing. There's so many angles to kind of your journey as an educator that we could dive into. And one thing that I absolutely love about you is the level that you go to to serve others, but at the same time, you're, you're also serving yourself and filling up your own cup. And I think that's a massive thing. challenge that leaders have. And often there's this guilt that surrounds leaders that they're not doing enough for their family, for their team, for society. And it seems like you've really got that dialed in. Now, obviously I know you're human, but the way you just described you're like Ironman and how you brought your family together and you kind of then paired that up with some form of service. It's almost like a hack, isn't it? It's like a, it's like a time hack that you can always tick all boxes at one point because you're also getting healthier in the process, which is amazing.

Teri Schmidt:

Exactly, exactly. And that's, you know, really what we're trying to do with our team building as well. Because we know that, you know, people are working in corporate are busy and especially in the current economy, you know, it's all about getting the work done. How are we going to get more revenue in the door? The problem is without the empathy, Yeah, This There's no connection without connection. There's no teamwork and without teamwork. You're not going to get the results that you need to to bring that revenue in. So, what we like to do is in our events, we make sure that they're not only doing good for the community, which is going to support their well being. Naturally and hopefully, you know, help them to connect, but they're also learning skills that will help them to collaborate when they get back to the workplace. So, yes, I think I'm all about time hacking and getting the most out of out of every minute. While supporting well being again, because it's not just about go, go, go you know. People talk about, you can't really serve, you know, can't be so focused on service your whole time because you're going to burn out. I believe you can, but it's just a different way of looking at it. It's about making sure that you know who you are, making sure that you're grounded in your strengths and values, and then finding ways to give from that place of groundedness. So it's

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

so interesting that you mentioned that because when we first really moved into kind of the workplace well being space, it was as a result of working with so many leaders and coaching them to really find out what their values are and what those strengths are so that they could like fulfill their own needs so they could then serve, right? Because unfortunately, by the time clients got to us, they were already burnt out. They were already at that point. of almost no return. So it's absolutely essential that, you know, you're building from that strong foundation. And as cliche as that sounds, it really is the fundamental, isn't it?

Teri Schmidt:

It is. It is. And I agree. You know, I hesitate to say it sometimes because it does sound cliche. But if you really go and put the time and effort into doing that internal work, it does reap huge benefits in what you are able to do for those that you work with and for the greater community.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

Exactly. And I know, you know, you and I share the similar mission of that community, right? And giving back and paying things forward. And I know a lot of our listeners will feel the same. I think sometimes though, that can seem like a bit far from the reality that most leaders in particular are in because they are so busy, they're short on time, they're short on energy, got so many responsibilities, it can be hard to maybe go there. And, and so really kind of hone in on that, but service can be just showing up as a good leader, right. And really just showing up in your best light so that you can get the best out of your team. What's your thoughts on that?

Teri Schmidt:

Yeah, I, I completely agree. That's really why my personal definition of leadership and the one that we use is courageously using your talents to make a way for others to courageously use theirs. So, what that may look like, like you said, you know, showing up to serve is just about okay. How do I understand this person that's working for me as a human and not just a resource. How do I understand what drives them? What makes them tick? What. Makes up the rest of their life outside of these hours that they spend with me so that I can make a way for them to use those talents that they have, because that's going to benefit everyone that's going to benefit them from a sense of career. Well, being that's going to benefit. The company, obviously, in that you're getting the best out of that employee, and it's not kind of a command and control type leadership where, yes, you may get short term results, but that's not going to last for anyone. The results aren't going to last people's wellbeing is going to suffer. And it's not a longterm solution at all in the way that really showing up, serving, getting to know people so that you can motivate them in that way is.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

100%. And it's almost like that quick fix mentality, isn't it? And, and it's particularly here in the UAE, you know, everything moves really, really fast as well. I mean, I'm sure it does everywhere, but in the UAE it just feels like time disappears. And it's something that I know is like, adds even more pressure onto every employee, every level, to be honest. You mentioned something earlier about empathy and connection. What role does that play When it comes to like the long term sustainability of results, again, it all levels of the business. And I know you've just said it makes it sustainable, right? It reads those stronger relationships. But is there any other kind of insights that you could share with us there?

Teri Schmidt:

Yeah, I mean, I, I think it's, we all want to be seen, right? And, and that is what empathy is all about. That is, you know, understanding other people's thoughts and emotions so that you can understand why they're acting the way that they're acting. And that breeds connection. You know, if, if I'm on a team and I have no concern about If you fail or not, or I have no sense that when you fail, I'm also failing in a sense that we aren't going to get the benefits of having that team cohesion. There's a ton of research out there that shows that, you know, when teams have that team cohesion, they are better able to support each other in the combination of their strengths and talents to get the results that you need to get as quickly as you need to get them. So. Again, with without that connection, you're not gonna have that. And essentially, what you're gonna have is you're gonna have individuals that are yes, working side by side, but there's no teamwork. And they may be even worse, you know, competing with each other because they, their leader sees them as individual resources. That are assigned to tasks that just get work done. And so they see themselves as that way. So each person on the team is, in a sense, expendable. And I is just a threat to me advancing to the next level. And when you have that kind of environment again, the results are not going to show up in the team's performance.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

Definitely. Definitely. I hear that. And one of the things we hear a lot in the focus groups that we run when we go into organizations is where we just listen to them to really identify, you know, what's the low hanging fruit in the fastest ROI really we can give for their efforts when it comes to workplace well being. One of the things that comes up often is there's actually a level of resentment. So like you said, everybody wants to be seen. But typically in teams that aren't perhaps as cohesive as they could be, they a Resenting the ones that are being seen and creating this conflict and that in itself starts to create this like toxicity within the, within the organization. Have you noticed that at all in your leadership experience?

Teri Schmidt:

Yeah, definitely. Definitely. That, you know, that's. Unfortunately, more common than I would like it to be and I, I think it does stem from the fact that when you have a team where people aren't being seen where there isn't a recognition of we're all in this together and you have something that I might not have in terms of what we're able to contribute to the team and because of that, we need each other and we're all, you know, headed in the In the same direction in terms of whatever the team and organizational goals are, you are going to experience that competition, that toxicity, and not the competition is bad, you know, completely bad, but when it does breed that toxicity, it does become a problem for team performance.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

Especially if then the leader is completely unaware and stressed and burnout, and then they pick up on that that's happening and that emotional contagion then rubs off, right, which creates more disconnection, lack of empathy, then across the board, which then translates into results, right, and performance.

Teri Schmidt:

And what

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

are some of the like really tangible benefits that you've seen in your experience for businesses and organizations who have adopted really, really robust team building, empathy, compassion, cohesion. They've got the, you know, sprinkler community service in there as well. Tangible benefits that you've actually seen.

Teri Schmidt:

Yeah. I mean, it, it really comes down to having each other's backs. So well, there are a lot of benefits that, that is one of them, you know, in terms of having each other's backs, that's, you know, if I have a team member who needs to be out for some reason, for example, they, you know, need to pick up their kid or have a sick parent or something else, you know, they know that the team achievement is not going to stall Again, they have each other's backs. Just being able to have that social wellbeing in terms of, I feel seen and I feel like I'm making a meaningful contribution to others and to the team. And when the team is working well together, that is one of the benefits. And you know, that is one of keeps people wanting to come back. Even if they are going through a rough patch as a team, as an organization, people want to come back and are committed to getting that work done, finding a way to get past those challenges as a team.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

Yeah, for sure. I mean, that sense of somebody having your back, that's what creates psychological safety, right? That's what helps us to be able to then say, actually, I've got a sick parent, or I've got to pick up my kid, I'm having this challenge over here. You know, it helps the individuals to be able to almost highlight themselves as vulnerable employees at that point, and for leaders to be able to see that they're in a vulnerable spot right now, that that's okay, and they're not going to be penalized or judged for it. Like you said, it keeps people coming back and it builds a reputation. You know, one of the biggest challenges is being faced here in the UAE at the moment, is attracting new talent. You know, there's, there's a lot happening with the transitions of generations, you know, coming through Gen Z wants something different to Gen X, Gen X wants something different to the Millennials and the Boomers, there's still some of them, you know, around with their preferences. And so, the The attrition and the retention of talent is really, really tough. But when you start to build this like community sense within the workplace, and it doesn't mean you have to be a family, you know, right, it needs to be like professional, but then be that unity. Right. Mm

Teri Schmidt:

hmm. Yeah, exactly. And, you know, I was just looking through Deloitte's Gen Z and millennial report and they were talking about one third of those generations will reject an employer based on their personal ethics and beliefs. And then, you know, another report was talking about 87 percent of those generations consider Professional development as important or very important to their choice of employment. So when you're talking about, you know, the challenges of recruiting new talent, which you need in order to sustain your business, if you are looking at both professional and career development, and you are looking at societal societal good and what we're doing for society, which again, those are the two things we try to combine in our team building events. You have a leg up on recruiting that talent.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It's so funny, isn't it? There's a, an organizational behaviorist here in the UAE named Sylvia. She'll be on the podcast as well at some stage. And she said to me about Gen Z are at a point where they're not even committing to like buying a house in the old traditional ways, right? They're not committed to marriage. They're not going to commit to a company if they're not going to commit to their own personal relationships and their own sense of security to some extent, from a living standpoint, they're not suddenly going to pull that on the line and then you know, go, go all in with a company that isn't aligned to their values. It's like a paradigm shift that needs to happen within leadership. It's a fascinating topic, and I think that's something we'll probably talk about all day long. What I really would love to ask you, though, Terry, is like, what you're doing with your team building activities is something similar to how we integrate social good into workplaces here. And I would love to know, like, how do you do that? So for anybody listening, any leaders that are thinking, okay, well, how do I? You know, increase empathy and really help people to connect in a meaningful way with both their work and their contribution to society. Like, how do you do that within your team building experiences?

Teri Schmidt:

Yeah. So we do it in a couple of different ways. I'll, I'll give you just some examples of some of the standard. Offerings that we have one of them focusing on resilience really takes teams. So the skills that they're working on are those resilience building skills. And we focus on them knowing their own strengths, their own values. We do a little bit of work around that. So they have that foundation. Our logo is a tree. So it's, you know, that's kind of the trunk of the tree. But we also connect them very quickly to each other to learn that about each other. So you're building the empathy on the team there, but then in terms of the project for the community another one of the resilience practices that we go through. And that's kind of like the branches of the tree, you know, how you reach out and touch those next to you. Is gratitude. And so we walk them through a very specific model of expressing gratitude and their project is that they think of teachers in their lives, whether those be teachers in the local elementary school, some organizations like to focus on just doing one school or teachers in the sense of, you know, someone who has taught me something in my life that could even be a former boss. And they write. Gratitude notes for those individuals using the model that we just taught them. And then we kind of wrap it all together. What does. How you wrote that note say about your strengths, your values, and, you know, in that way, they are increasing again, empathy for themselves, empathy for others on their team, and they're looking at, okay, yeah. This person really impacted my life, and the empathy goes beyond that to the community. Another example, sometimes we will take the skill that we've taught. For example, we teach giving and receiving difficult feedback, which is a big one for teams. We teach that skill again through different interactive activities, showing them again, a specific way to give feedback. So that's as impactful as possible. And then their project, they're actually creating paracord lanyards for first responders firemen, policemen and active duty servicemen and women. And. That's a skill that a lot of people don't know how to do. So we'll partner them up. One person will watch a video learning how to do it, and then they'll have to teach the other person. And then that other person has to give them feedback using the model that they just learned in the workshop itself. So we're using the community service. Project. There is really an opportunity to practice the skill that they just learned that they are going to then be able to take back to the workplace when they have difficult feedback that they have to give to someone or receive themselves.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

Excellent. I love that so much. Like, there's so many different ways you can go with, isn't it? Especially when you're, if you can just add a creative spin to it, you know, exactly. It's really a case of looking, okay, what does my community need right now? What are we passionate about? And as a company, hopefully the company already has a mission and some values that are aligned that they can actually choose a project and choose something that's important. And it comes back a bit to what we said at the beginning of like activity pairing to some extent. Because sometimes I think it's very easy for companies to think, Oh, that's too, that's going to be too much work. It's almost this like misconception that if I'm going to couple some kind of service with this, then it is going to make even more work for me. And that's the last thing. And it really bonds, isn't it? They would rather have fast results, less work, you know, in an ideal world.

Teri Schmidt:

Yeah, exactly. Oh, sorry. Go ahead.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

It's the level of creativity that really impresses me with you.

Teri Schmidt:

Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. And I just wanted to bring up one more example to your point about, you know, kind of getting the two for one and, and not putting the extra time in there. We did another team building activity with a group where the skill was about identifying each other's Kind of superpowers and how they work together as a team, but then the project itself, this was a team that did a lot of data analysis and reporting and their project was to support a local nonprofit in creating a survey process that they could use to survey their clients. So they again were practicing skills that they were going to need back on the job while doing good in the community. So we tried to. Work with each organization, use our creativity to find an experience that will get them the most return on their investment of time as possible.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

I love that so much because ultimately these companies are doing learning and development anyway. Right. So it's a case of seeing, okay, what can, what, what can we match it up with? And where can we, you know, have the biggest impact? And I absolutely love that so much. So how does it. company that's maybe doing one of these team buildings that you've described, perhaps the last one that you mentioned, how do you make sure that they then continue and keep the changes when they go back to the workplace? Because the classic thing with team building, isn't it, is that they go and they have a nice day and then it's almost like all forgotten. Like, how do you really instill the core values of theirs so that it carries forwards into the workplace in a sustainable way?

Teri Schmidt:

Yeah, and and that is really kind of what drove me to focus one of our offerings on team building and that's my experiences in the past in corporate of team building events, like, just like you talked about where you go away, you have fun and that's it, you know, nothing really changes when you come back. So we do it. 2 ways, so 1st, you know, we have conversations with the leaders up front, make sure we understand their goals, understand some of the challenges that the team may be experiencing so that we can tailor the experience to those challenges. But then on the back end, we offer. Resources to really make those skills that they learned a habit in some way. So whether that is a job aid or a handout that. Suggests a process that they can incorporate into their weekly team meetings, or something that incorporates what they learned into something that they are already doing. So, again, they can make that a habit. In addition, we do offer anyone who is part of one of our team building experiences has access. To reduce price leadership coaching. And that has been extremely helpful and just having some time with the leader to talk about, okay, this is, this is what we heard during the team building experience. This is what you learned. This is what the team learned. What does that look like now in your day to day? And how can we continue to reinforce that?

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

Nice. Again, it's just that, that consolidation at the end and then having to almost like report back and to really reflect and summarize really helps it instill and embed any kind of learning in general, really. But if it's being asked of by the leader as well, you know, it shows that leader already has buy in and therefore it becomes this, this two way street. And now they're starting to become a cohesive unit, right? So in your experience, and you just shared some great examples there already, what are some practical strategies or initiatives that you think leaders could implement to connect their team's wellbeing and sense of purpose to like meaningful community service?

Teri Schmidt:

Well, I think first they have to know what their team's purpose is, you know, on an individual level. You know, what, what do people feel called to do in their lives and, and what is meaningful for them? Because that can vary widely across different people. And then pairing that with, What is our team's purpose? What's the organization's purpose and how do those two integrate? So for leaders that aren't yet asking those questions, hopefully most leaders are, but for those that aren't, that is definitely the first place to start. And then second, like you said earlier, you know, what is a project out in the community that we can engage in to support or align with those Sense of individual and team purpose so that we can reinforce that. And then finally, so it's not just kind of a 1 off 1 and done. We did something good that reinforced, you know, the reflection and habit building afterward. Like we talked about. So if you did have some sort of whether it's, you learned a new skill, like in 1 of our experiences that we're pretty intentional about, or, you know, Or if you were just doing a community service project that aligned with your mission, your personal mission, team mission, organizational mission what realizations came out as part of that experience and how can we reflect as a team on how we want to carry that learning forward? So, whether that be, like, I talked about before, you know, some sort of practice that we want to incorporate into our team meetings, you know, whether it's I've seen people do fun things, like, you know, have a stuffed animal in the room or something, you know, anytime we're crossing some boundary that we express that we don't want to cross anymore as a team, or if we're, you know, not If we want to have an opportunity to give feedback, but we want to feel comfortable about doing it, you know, maybe there's a certain signal or something that people can incorporate into their regular day to day practices. And. So that that's really kind of the team connection piece and utilizing the community service experience to do that, which then again, supports well being both from a, you know, like you mentioned, psychological safety. If you have that on your team, you are going to have a greater sense of emotional and social well being when you are spending all that time. All those hours at work trying to get all that work done.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

And that's fueling in and of itself, isn't it? And I think it's interesting because, you know, one of the stats that came out at the start of this year was the 98 percent of people in the UAE are experiencing at least one symptom of burnout. Now, one of the things that we've learned as well from our coaching years is that actually, when people are burnt out, Obviously, energy is low. Exhaustion is there. Low mood. A variety of different symptoms obviously can occur. The act of doing something for someone else, when it's out of choice, rather than burden, right? And it's not pressure, pressure service you're doing it, when it's actually like, I'm just, I'm going to do this act of kindness. I'm going to do this good deed. It actually starts to recharge and refuel our energy as well. So what you just said there about the, you know, the emotional connection building. That in itself is an energizer, isn't it?

Teri Schmidt:

It is, it is. Yeah, and I'm not sure if you're familiar with Kelly McGonigal and her upside of stress. She had a TED talk and a book. But she talks about that, you know, the tend and befriend response to stress and what happens in your brain. When that's activated and, and I've experienced that in my life and, and small ways, you know, when I'm feeling really down or demotivated if I can do something for someone else, it just clicks a switch almost. It's, it's the same way as if I can go out for a run, for example, you know, that, that can sometimes flip a switch, but that tend to be friend response, like the reward center being ignited with the dopamine being released. You know, that's even another reason that we incorporate the learning as part of our experiences because that. That reward center being activated actually supports learning and retention as well. So it's kind of like a double impact, but yes, doing good for others is something that even though you may feel like I have nothing left to give, that can be an energizer for you because of those responses that happen in our body.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

And unfortunately, the old saying is true that often we'll do more for other people than we'll do for ourselves. Sometimes that can work to our advantage if we're strategic about it and we're doing it with the right intent, I believe, as well. And it's something that you speak about is that these acts of service, Are essentially priming the brain to be able to learn the new skills and that sense of priming is really a case again of laying that foundation to make it become the norm, so that easy to work well with your colleagues is easy to be able to see the big picture and have compassion have perspective. One of the other things that obviously we've realized. Been working with so many people is that perspective is one of the first things that goes when we start to get burned out, right? We start to become more narrow-minded, right? Because we are living in survival mode. So we are, we are looking for, for our prey, essentially. Mm-Hmm. Mm-Hmm. problem. Not intentionally, often this is completely unconscious, but when able to actually. You know, leverage that and understand what is going on. We can actually then start to, to make a difference and prime the brain that when we're even in that state of default, we can respond from a constructive way.

Teri Schmidt:

Mm hmm. Yeah. It's, it's so fascinating how that can work. And. It's sometimes counterintuitive to, you know, because you, you think I'm, I'm burnt out, I'm in this place where I just have nothing else to give in reality. That may be the solution that you need done. Well, like you mentioned, you know, sometimes we just do so much for others that. That is what leads to the burnout, but I like to say, you know, strong leaders serve strong leaders. Don't rescue strong leaders are not nice all the time. They're kind, they're not nice all the time, but they serve others. And that involves having boundaries that involves being grounded in who you are. It's different than just. Overextending yourself because you just want to do good for others all the time. And, and haven't really even been intentional about what that looks like and how you can best serve others.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

Yeah, brilliant. Now, if there's a leader listening to this any level in organization that is thinking, wow. Strong leaders do not rescue, they serve, right? Because that is a very powerful statement if we really think about it. What if somebody's listening to this and they're thinking, I've been rescuing, I haven't been serving, where do they start?

Teri Schmidt:

I think it's looking at, you know, kind of take an inventory of where you have been rescuing and why. So what is the motivation behind that? Is that because you don't feel that the person is equipped to do The work that they need to do is that because you maybe just got promoted into a leadership role, and you're so used to getting recognition for doing the task itself, instead of for leading others to do the task that you just have that hunger to do the task yourself? What, what is behind that? And, you know, What is your vision for how you would prefer to act of how can you serve instead of rescuing if the person maybe you don't feel is equipped to do the work? What are some supports that you can put in place? What can you learn about that person to better motivate them to? Acquire her skills. They need to be able to better do that work. If it's something that's more internal to you and more kind of, you know, maybe a little bit ego driven or just. Because you're in that transition, what is some work that you need to do in order to feel recognized for the role that you are currently in as a leader? So how are you going to celebrate when you do serve someone or when you do help someone else to be successful? As opposed to you being successful yourself doing those tasks. And I, I hesitate a little bit because you are being successful and helping others to be successful, but it just looks different.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

Yeah. Often ones tends to come from a place of insecurity or even fear or frustration rather than a place of confidence and compassion. And don't get me wrong. I think everybody, you know, one of the most universal beliefs is that we're not good enough. You know, I think that's a, Something that every human being experiences, definitely leaders is one of the top beliefs, right there. Fear of not being enough. So therefore that insecurity starts to seep in. And when we're coming from that place, it's hard to be truly empathetic. It's hard to be compassionate. It's hard to really take ownership and serve, I think. So there's some great tips right there. Sorry, so much for sharing those. So I mentioned earlier in your intro that you obviously are a podcast host yourself, which is called Strong Leaders Serve. Can you share any kind of key insights or light bulb moments or strategies that you've uncovered from your own podcast guests in achieving a thriving workplace?

Teri Schmidt:

Oh, gosh, there are so many I, you know, I think one of my favorite episodes was focused on how leaders can create meaningful work. And there was a three C's model of that and it, it, it really hit me because it was true in my life as well. It's it's a model based on research. Tomorrow miles was my guest there. And she has a book coming out as well but the 3 C's are that you have to have contribution, which is really around you, like we talked about earlier is that person's individual purpose or individual mission aligned with the team and organizational mission. That's usually what people think about when they. Talk about creating meaningful work, but the other 2 are equally as important and 1, the other C is challenge. So people have to feel that it's just kind of outside of their comfort zone in terms of the tasks that they're being asked to do and being supported in doing that. And then the 3rd is community, and that gets to what we started talking about today. So how. Do you have people around you who have your back and do you feel that in your workplace? So if you have community challenge and contribution, and you can create that as a leader for the people on your team, you're well on your way to creating that meaningful work and having an engaged workforce.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

Fantastic. I love that. I love that. I totally put you on the spot with that because I know you've done a lot of them. There's so many gems, no doubt. So anybody listening, obviously go ahead and check out Terry's podcast. All the links will be in the show notes. But before we wrap up, Terry, I've got a couple more questions for you. One being somebody that clearly leads by example. Through your, you know, your mission through your experience in both corporate and obviously as an entrepreneur yourself for somebody that's hosting podcasts, family person, like not just a mom, obviously you're serving your whole community as well. And you're like extending your family essentially. How are you managing to keep your own head above water as you continue with all of these responsibilities that you have?

Teri Schmidt:

Yeah, I mean, I, I think it's doing exactly what I tried to help leaders to do, and that is kind of going through our three phases of, you know, how can I ground myself and coming back to how am I using my values to set boundaries to prioritize and how am I using my Using my knowledge of my strengths to do the same and finding opportunities throughout each day to exercise one or more of those strengths can be very energizing when I have so much going on. So that's grounding. And then we take people through giving, you know, how do I continue to develop the skills that I need in order to keep my life in order and to lead well. So again, if that's a skill of prioritization, That I need to focus on if that's a skill of time management, if that's a skill of identifying the needs around me so that I can feel like I am serving those. And then the last phase is really just give. We mentioned before how recognizing how you are giving in the world and making an effort to give can be energizing. So even though it may seem like you're putting more. On your plate you started off by talking about how much I am doing that giving can actually focus how you are showing up in the world. So those, those 3 factors really energize me and keep me focused and keep my priorities in order.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

It's so interesting that as you started to give the answer is you actually describe all of the things that you do for yourself first and giving was the last thing. And I think that's really powerful because, you know, often it's the last cup that gets filled is our own. So it's not like almost like selfless. self care, isn't it? That has to happen. It's like, I don't, I'm not a big fan of the self care phrase just because it's a bit overdone, but it's that notion of like, knowing that you're standing firm on what you believe and who you are and, and your own identity that then drives everything else. Because without that, you can't give in a resourceful way. You can't show up for your family. You can't go and complete Ironmans and, you know, serve your podcast audience and your clients. It just doesn't work like that. So taking that time for yourself is absolutely essential to be able to give efficiently.

Teri Schmidt:

Is that fair to say? Exactly. It is fair to say, and I feel the same way about kind of the self care term. And you know, I, the phrase that everyone always talks about is to put your oxygen mask on first. Which. I feel a little bit overused, but I like to follow that up with for the purpose of what, why are you putting your oxygen mask on first? It's so that you can help others put theirs on as well. So that really is why, you know, we, we don't just focus on the leaders taking care of themselves. It's for the purpose of what good they are doing out in the world, because That is really when you get the wellbeing benefits that is really when you get the societal benefits of being a leader.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

Definitely. And also then the financial benefits that come as a result of your business. It's sustainable and it has a good reputation. You know, if we all think about, you know, some of the brands that we love the most, we all think about the places that impact us the most is because we believed in them and their mission. And we really like something about them, which is why we continue to go back. And that is only ever good for business.

Teri Schmidt:

Exactly. Yeah. I'm, I'm so glad you called that out, but I forgot to mention that, but it's critically important, especially to business owners, you know, that. That financial benefit is the, a result of doing all this work. It's not just about feeling good. It's about having sustained financial success.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

And it's funny, right? Because obviously you and I in this space, a lot of the. Podcast guests, obviously we have on here. We almost like take it as a given that of course the financial revenue is going to come as a result of this. Like, it's almost like we're already too far down the rabbit hole to even need to mention it anymore. And I don't say that, you know, in a kind of egotistic way, but really in a way of. No, we have to pull it back because there's so many leaders out there that are not seeing that connection between the two and that in itself is damaging wellbeing. So the great news is, is the conversation is getting more and broader. You know, there's so many fantastic leaders that are forward thinking, that are really owning this and they're proving over and over and over again that actually, do you know what, you know, finances almost become like a symptom, you know, how healthy becomes a symptom of just being well. So it's, it's quite inspiring to see what's happening across the industry, really across the world as well.

Teri Schmidt:

Agreed. Definitely.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

So, Terry, we have spoken a lot about giving today and service. And as you know, everybody that listens to this episode, there will be a donation given from The Wellness Theory and our partners over at B1G1. Two great causes that are aligned with global goals. And you selected to make your donation towards. The goal of no poverty. Tell us why. Why is that so important for you?

Teri Schmidt:

Yeah, it gets back to my Definition of leadership and making ways for others to be able to courageously use their talents. When a family is in poverty, there are those, obviously, the, the 1st thing that they're thinking about is not how can I improve my, you know, how can I improve my. Talents and use them for others, because there are those barriers to, you know, just survival. So, I think the more that we can commit to finding ways to alleviate that the more likely we are to. Enable them to express their talents that we all need.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

Absolutely. I think sometimes we don't realize how fortunate we are when we look at what poverty really is and, you know, it's leaders who are actually going to be the crazy ones that change the world, right? So, so it's something that's super, super inspiring that you've chosen that goal, and I'm so happy that you've been able to come onto the podcast today. Before we wrap up, is there anything, Terry, that we haven't mentioned that we should have mentioned, and then perhaps we need to bring you back on again to discuss

Teri Schmidt:

not that I can think of right now. I would love to come back on anytime. I love what you're doing and that you are contributing and donating based on what. Your guests are passionate about that's just such a wonderful thing that you're doing. So thank you for all the work that you are doing. And like I said, I'm, I'm open to having another conversation at any time.

Charlotte Stebbing-Mills:

Awesome. Brilliant. Thank you so much, Terry. Your LinkedIn profile and your website will all be in the show notes. So anybody listening will be able to come and find you. I really, really encourage you to go and check out the. That is particularly the team building elements of what it is you do. Obviously, everything you do is great, but I think it really ties in nicely to some of the things we've spoken about today. So by all means, go and check out Terry and we'll see you on the next episode.